The Wreckage

So it's official...I'm delayed a semester. That really sucks. But, for some reason God must of deemed it to occur this way. I still don't understand how that works. I KNOW that I was meant to be here this year, but it was due to my own decisions and mistakes. How does God affect those things despite them being in our hands? I think it's amazing how much we can learn about Him, yet never get to the end of what is in his character.

I drove by the crash site today. I was headed to the Elementary School again today, and had to drive past it for the first time since I wrecked 3 weeks ago. The whole time as I was getting closer and closer I just started to tense up. It was if I imagined something was going to sweep me off the road and I was going to crash in the same spot again or something. So once I was done with the kids, I decided to drop back by the site and look at it for myself so I wouldn't have to wonder about it every time I passed by.

First thing I noticed...I was way off the interstate. No one could have seen me unless they were there during the accident. Then I noticed that I could have flipped if I had gone more to the left. I entered into this brush and totally tore down those small trees and bushes. Then I got to the tree I hit. All the bark was gone from my shoulders down. One of my doors was just laying there on the ground, and to the other side one of my headlights. I hit the tree at the very right part of my car, if I had gone more to the left...

So it's my goal to start thinking about this: I'm alive. These stresses wouldn't have mattered if I had died. So why freak out about them. Let God handle them, and just walk in his path as well as possible. So I'm still upset...but I am understanding also. I think this had to happen to wake me up. Heh, wake me up. And I was talking about sleep yesterday. Sometimes I feel like life is playing a cosmic joke on us.