Nothing Left to Lose

This song kind of sums up how I feel right now. I'm a little more positive right now. I had some really meaningful conversations today. Don't you love it when that happens? When people actually talk to you about things that matter? I met a guy who I've known for a year and a half and we talked about some of the things that have been going through my head. He could see where I was coming from, but felt that I might be taking it a little far. I totally got him. After reading that post down there...I was freaked. Things aren't all that bad. This part of the song gets me right now:

I can still hear the trains out my window
from hobart street to here in nashville
I can still smell the pomegranates grow
And I don't know how hard this wind will blow
or where we'll go

come on and we'll sing, like we were free
push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us
come on and we'll try, one last time
I'm off of the floor one more time to find you

First off...I live by a railroad. So I always hear the trains from my window...day and night. They were pretty annoying at first, but now I'm used to them and I will probably miss them when I move out at the end of the month. But then it goes one to say that I don't know how hard this wind will blow. I still aren't sure how bad everything is going to get. However, I know that once exams are over and I pick up the pieces of my GPA...I will live. These things are important...but God is more important. Somehow he has a plan for me to stay one more semester, even if it is to teach me a lesson. So the wind seems pretty hard, not sure where it's leading me, but I will try to let it blow me and just let go.

The biggest line of the song for me is "I'm off of the floor one more time to find you." This is how I view myself with God right now. I've kinda fallen a little in my faith and there's so much to work on. But I'm going to get off the floor and try and find him again. I hope I'm successful. I think the journey will be long...but I think he wants me to search. So right now I'm in a state of pleasant awareness. I haven't begun the full healing that God is going to bring, but I'm willing to start accepting it's presence in my life.